The latest, called “Pride,” is based on the true-life story of Jim Ellis, who started an all-black swim team at a recreation center in a particularly dangerous Philadelphia neighborhood in the 1970s. Think of it as a cross between “Remember the Titans” and “Splash.”
Or not.
I sure hope these boffo titles haven't been taken.
“Zodiac” - In this spellbinding bio-pic, Cincinnati Reds manager Pete Rose (played by Tom Cruise) not only bets every night on his baseball team to win, but uses complex astrological charts to predict such NCAA tournament upsets as Prairie View A&M over Kansas and Devry Institute over North Carolina. Mayhem ensues when his bookie (Renee Zellweger) falls in love with Tar Heels coach Roy Williams (Danny DeVito). Or maybe it's the other way around.
“The Silence of the Hogs” - A chilling tale of confrontation, pitting the Denver Broncos' tight-lipped offensive line against a savage press corps determined to extract a quote that doesn't include the phrase: “step it up.”
“Dead Man Walking” - Phil Mickelson (John Lithgow) holds a five-stroke lead heading into the final hole of the Masters golf tournament. Bowing to public pressure, he insists on playing it ultra-safe, using only his putter from tee to green. The resulting 10 allows Tiger Woods' wife Elin (Scarlett Johanssen) to win by one shot.
“Blades of Glory” - In this bizarre comedy, Will Ferrell and Jon Heder play disgraced Olympic ice skaters who are banned because of drug use, but find a way to sneak back as an all-male entry in the pairs competition ... ah, forget it. No one would be insane enough to make this movie.
“Get Shorty” - The heart-wrenching, courageous and true story of Utah Jazz guard John Stockton's refusal to don basketball shorts big enough to shelter a Boy Scout troop. Stockton (Rial Cummings) also protests the NBA's prevalent hip-hop culture by blasting the Carpenters on his boom box in the dressing room. Thurl Bailey (Samuel L. Jackson) takes umbrage, leading to an unpleasant basement scene involving gags, blow torches, a samurai sword and the line: “Honey Bunny, I'm gonna have to get Medieval on that basketball.”
“Blazing Paddles” - In this homage to French New Wave cinema and ping-pong diplomacy, a fledgling U.S. team travels to Shanghai and kicks serious butt against a group of Chinese All-Stars. With Robin Williams as Richard Nixon, Jackie Chan as Mao and Gong Li as ... well, that hasn't been decided, but she's going to be in there somewhere. And a certain screenwriter is looking forward to some private story conferences.
�” - Barry Bonds is headed for a nice career, and roughly that many career home runs. But snubbed one too many times by the baseball establishment, he vows to overtake both Babe Ruth and Henry Aaron on the all-time homer list, no matter what the cost to his personal integrity. The first half of the movie follows the young Bonds (Chris Rock) through his frustrated days in Pittsburgh, followed by the transformation of the veteran Bonds (Ving Rhames) in San Francisco. With Halle Berry as “Baseball Annie,” Christopher Walken as Bonds' trusty personal trainer “Balco” and Don Zimmer as “The Dude With The Plate In His Head.”
“Premonition” - Missoulian columnist Rial Cummings (Brad Pitt) dreams that he enters the newspaper's March Madness pool and, inexplicably, finishes in last place for an unprecedented 20th straight year. Then he wakes up and - it's true.
Rial Cummings can be reached at 523-5255 or rcummings@missoulian.com. His column runs Sundays, but he's on vacation next week.
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