Given that, Heidi DeArment's bet that Glaser couldn't sell out a business class for the Montana Community Development Corp. was, perhaps, ill-advised.
It's true that DeArment had a few things going for her. Glaser was new to his job as small business development director at MCDC. Business classes usually take months to sell out. More importantly, Glaser and his wife were about to have twins, by C-section, the day before the bet's deadline.
The wager was this - the winner would be allowed to dress the loser for a work week.
DeArment imagined Glaser in a “pair of Mick Jagger leather pants, so he'd look like a sausage.”
Glaser didn't really give much thought to how he might costume DeArment - he just wanted to win.
Fact is, he'd previously lost a business bet that required him to shave his head to resemble male-pattern baldness. And he'd lost another bet with DeArment, although the stakes - a gift certificate to Pearl's - weren't as potentially embarrassing as the dress-up gig.
“It was a really good class that we needed to fill, but I did want to win, that's a fact,” Glaser said.
The class had 25 slots. Two days before the deadline and one day before the birth of twins, Glaser had sold 32 businesses on the class.
All of which is a long way of saying that on Wednesday morning, DeArment showed up for work dressed as the frumpy, red-haired housewife from a 1970s television program.
“She's Mrs. Roper today, and it's pretty ghastly,” Glaser said with a hint of comically cruel delight.
Mrs. Roper, for those of you too young to recall, was married to Stanley Roper, the homophobic landlord of the three principals of “Three's Company,” Jack, Janet and Chrissy, who was played by Suzanne Somers. Helen Roper always seemed to be wearing a hideous housecoat adorned by scary jewelry.
DeArment was oh-so-Helen on Wednesday, as she took part in conference calls and even hosted a business meeting in the afternoon. A red wig, awful jewelry and earrings and a pastel, floral housecoat completed the ensemble.
“The really scary part is that some people don't seem to notice,” DeArment said.
That happened on Tuesday, when, dressed as a hippie chick, she met with a man from the Job Service, who found nothing at all amiss in DeArment's get-up.
That's just so Missoula.
The Roper outfit was a bit harder to miss, and the next few days should be visually splendid, as well.
There's a devil outfit on the way, but top billing is going to what Glaser describes as a “slutty Tootsie,” from the film where Dustin Hoffman dressed as a middle-aged woman.
“That should be classic,” Glaser beamed.
One outfit is yet to be determined. Worried that his own imagination might be limited, Glaser enlisted the aid of his colleagues and DeArment's friends in coming up with the outfits.
“They've outdone themselves,” he said.
The outfits, the dailyness of the embarrassment, the fact that she's now in the newspaper, have all resolved into a sense of good-natured revenge for DeArment.
She is thinking of yet another wager, the nature of which hasn't revealed itself yet. Riffing off of Glaser's previous betting loss related to his hair, DeArment has thought of the stakes, however.
“I'm thinking of full body-waxing,” she said with a sinister grin.
And if that makes it easier for Glaser to fit into those Mick Jagger pants, so much the better.
Reporter Michael Moore can be reached at 523-5252
or by e-mail at mmoore@missoulian.com.
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