As the executive director of Youth Homes in Missoula, Geoffrey Birnbaum often fields phone calls from parents wondering what to do with their kids.
And Birnbaum, in turn, wonders how other people perceive these parents - and their children.
Current laws basically require that, in order for a child to be placed in state custody, that child has to be abused, neglected or in trouble with the law, Birnbaum explained.
But there are other children out there who don't fall into these categories. They are kids who cannot live with their parents, can't afford to live on their own and don't qualify for public help - the kids who often wind up couch-surfing their way to adulthood. It's not a new situation by any means, but the Nebraska loophole brought it new attention.
Nebraska's lawmakers inadvertently provided this loophole when they adopted safe haven laws for their state in July and neglected to include an age limit. On Friday, they opened a special session to amend the new law. But that fix doesn't address the fact that dozens of older children have been abandoned by their parents in recent months. Once desperate parents can no longer leave their children at Nebraska hospitals, what will they do? Where will they turn?
One need look no further than Montana for an answer. Here, children and teenagers who do not meet requirements to enter state custody find friends or relatives to take them in temporarily. They might bounce from home to home for months, or even years.
Fortunately, promising new developments in support services appear to be emerging in Montana, Birnbaum says. Providers all over the state are able and interested in working with families before they reach the point of crisis. In some cases, supporting these families might mean bringing a therapist into their homes to observe how family members interact in that environment. Or it might mean having a behavior specialist teach techniques specifically tailored to a particular family. Or it might just mean offering a few hours' respite to beleaguered parents.
Whatever form of aid they receive, parents are reminded that they are not alone.
“People feel isolated when they are struggling with their kids,” Birnbaum says.
That's why it is so important for parents to find friends willing to share the true challenges of parenting. A number of parenting agencies, such as Families First and the Parenting Place in Missoula, offer a peer culture through classes and programs. They are also great places to find out what other resources are available.
And there's no need to wait for a major blow-up before pulling in these resources, said Fran Albrecht, executive director of Watson Children's Shelter in Missoula. In fact, it's best to start addressing issues sooner rather than later, before they get out of control, she says.
Watson Children's Shelter has provided a temporary home for children up to 14 years old for more than 30 years. Taking in a maximum of 16 children at at time, it has been home to hundreds of children each year.
But there have been times it had to turn children away because all its beds were occupied, Albrecht says. The population of western Montana has grown steadily over the years, and with it, the number of children who need emergency shelter. And so the shelter has begun making plans to build a second facility that would offer an additional 16 beds and position the nonprofit to welcome more children in need.
Earlier this year Albrecht acknowledged plans to launch a $5 million capital campaign sometime in the next year. With any luck, the campaign will raise enough funds to pay for a new building and start an endowment to keep the shelter - the only one of its kind in the region - running smoothly for years to come.
Once the shelter completes the leadership phase of its campaign, Albrecht says, it will be ready to ask the people of Montana for help reaching its financial goal.
Our support is one way to show that we are dedicated to making sure that every child has a safe place to go.
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