I’d like to suggest that if you’re considering making a change for next year, consider gratitude and forgiveness as essential components for well being.
During the season of Thanksgiving, think about what you truly are thankful for. Gratitude can be demonstrated through acts of kindness; it can also become a way of living.
We can find joy in celebrating diversity of emotions and the experience of variety. Most of us realize that life provides us with a cyclic adventure. Those ups and downs can sometimes be very challenging. If we can begin to express gratitude, we become less affected by life’s inevitable roller coaster.
While writing this column, I came across a Web site called the Gratitude Foundation, thegratitudefoundation.org. It made me reflect on the many ways we can apply gratitude at the individual and community level. The small country of Bhutan doesn’t measure its gross national product, but instead measures “gross national happiness.” Interesting concept: putting happiness out there at a national level.
What if we started thinking in terms of “gross national gratitude”? We might actually see people become less fearful and more open to change and to one another. If we think about being grateful for everything that happens and demonstrate gratitude on a perpetual basis, perhaps we could become more helpful and tolerant with those who we see as different from ourselves. Perhaps our health would improve and stress levels decline. Maybe we would experience perpetual joy!
And for a change for next year, why not try to forgive? We often think about forgiveness as something we “do” for others, but forgiveness is not about others, it is about us. Although someone else may benefit from your act of forgiveness, doing so does not depend on that other person; it doesn’t matter if they are sorry or take responsibility for what they did or didn’t do. Forgiveness is an act of self-compassion. It’s often a catalyst for improved emotional and physical health.
Until we forgive, our heart remains hostage to something bigger than ourselves. This can affect us physically, but will always affect us spiritually and emotionally. We become “stuck.” Like all healing, forgiveness must begin within. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be tied to a religious concept. Some of us feel it’s a spiritual endeavor beyond our reach and that our wounds may be too deep to ever reach a point of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not accepting behavior, or condoning an act; it’s letting go and moving on. It can be a release from a personal issue or something that has been done to us. We make the active choice to no longer allow that particular event or person to hold power over us. We free ourselves from that burden.
So, I leave you with a challenge and will challenge myself in the same way: Make it your intent to practice gratitude and forgiveness on a daily basis. If it seems daunting, do it just for a day and see how your attitude changes. Good health and blessings over the holidays and into the new year!
Marcia Hanks is a certified nurse midwife and an advanced practice registered nurse at the Women’s Care Program at St. Patrick Hospital and Health Sciences Center.
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Arlene Vogele wrote on Nov 23, 2008 2:41 PM: