Betty Yorton has a story about the coach’s pants, and judging by the grin on her face, it’s a doozy.

But Yorton won’t share it – at least on the record. The seamstress for the University of Montana Grizzlies, who repairs every hole, tear and faltering seam in every Griz athletic uniform, has sewn her mouth shut on that topic.

“Yes, I also do the coach’s pants,” said Yorton, whose sewing room is currently stacked with Griz football gear. “And there’s a joke in there that I just can’t tell you.”

It’s a rare occasion that a pair of coach’s pants shows up at Yorton’s doorstep. Instead, the retired Missoula woman’s yearly workload is almost entirely made up of torn and unraveled practice and game jerseys, gloves, shorts and pants – about “90 percent” of it from the football team.

For nearly a decade, Yorton has kept Griz athletics in stitches. And it was all her son-in-law’s idea.

UM athletic equipment manager Steve Hackney has gone through many seamstresses over the years, and was having trouble finding a good one in 2000.

Then he remembered all those blankets and toys mom had sewn for his children over the years.

“She’s from an era where you had to do that kind of stuff,” said Hackney. “In this day and age, it’s kind of a lost art.”

The conversation happened over dinner during the holidays.

“He asked me, ‘Can you fill in?’ ” Yorton recalled. “I’m still filling in.”

Every week during football season, usually on Monday evening or Tuesday morning, a load of freshly laundered but injured Griz wear arrives at Yorton’s Orchard Homes doorstep.

Jerseys – especially the more cheaply made $10 practice jerseys – suffer the bulk of the damage. But there is always a small showing of pants and gloves as well. On average, there are a couple dozen casualties that need mending every week during football season.

“Very little from other sports,” said Yorton. “If they’re from other sports, it’s usually a hem that’s loose. But no tears.”

The Nike game jerseys are $85 to $100 each, and the budget-minded Hackney wants each one to last three years.

“We’re spending the people’s money, so we watch it really closely,” he said.

Fans watching from the stands or on TV can’t see – and may not appreciate – how much damage those uniforms take over their lifetime, and how much TLC goes into sustaining them.

“If you looked up close, you’d see a lot of stitching in those jerseys,” said Hackney.

Yorton, who worked in the Missoula County Public Schools administration building for more than 20 years, occasionally gets a piece of athletic clothing that’s DOA, its injuries just inoperable.

“If it is, I just have to say, ‘Hey, I can’t do this,’ ” she said. “But that doesn’t happen very much.”

At the end of their playing career at UM, the athletes can take their uniform with them – but only if they pay for it.

“Most kids want to keep their jersey,” said Hackney. “It’s a real piece of memorabilia.”

So the players usually pony up the fair-market value of a 3-year-old jersey.

Hey, at least this isn’t the University of Oregon, which plays with five different sets of jerseys that cost twice as much because “they are the absolute Cadillac” of athletic uniforms.

The Griz jerseys?

“They’re probably like most of Montana,” said Hackney. “Chevy or Ford.”

Reach Jamie Kelly at 523-5254 or at jkelly@missoulian.com.